(Before I begin, I want to preface this by saying that these are my opinions, based on what I’ve seen. And they are generalizations, as I know exceptions to both sides of the the coin, as it were. I try to make clear that the women I classify as “Beauty” are those who know they are beautiful and seek to use their beauty to find fulfillment. I also make clear that there are beautiful women who perceive themselves as less than so. Both situations are a shame. There are also “plain” women that I know who can light up a room. As I said right up front, this is a generalization and that it doesn’t apply to everyone, beauty or plain, etc. This also has NOTHING to do with how other people look at these women, only how they look at themselves. It’s their self-concepts to which I allude.)
Sitting on Southwest flight 525 out of Orlando two nights back, I found myself sitting next to a beautiful young woman reading Cosmopolitan Magazine, oblivious to me with music pumping through her earphones. I was saddened immediately. It’s the “bible” of vanity, striving, and distrust. I happened to see the title of an article she was reading: “Why Every Woman Even Thinking About Marriage Needs to Get a Prenup” (pre-nuptual agreement).
Seeing her concentrate on the article got my mind going off in different directions.
- The advice in that article is a marriage killer from the get go.
- She doesn’t need a prenup, she needs a man with a good heart.
- Beautiful women can get men easily, but they most often settle for charisma and looks instead of what is truly wished for in the end.
- Settling causes men to work less hard since women aren’t demanding respect and morals from the outset. In my mind women give in so that they won’t “lose out.”
- Beautiful women seek reparations (alimony, etc.), then they are on to the next man–the next “answer” to their fulfillment.
- Beautiful women look for answers to their relationship woes in magazines or TV shows, and these “answers” oftentimes come from other unsatisfied and broken (and sometimes bitter) people.
- Beauty becomes a curse of which the beautiful woman is unaware. Rarely does she look outside of her sphere of other lost individuals for a different source of truth, because popularity and trendiness demand loyalty. The answer she seeks remains just past the corner of her eye.
The plain, homely, ugly (whether truly a physical trait or merely a self-perception) are oftentimes—or maybe most times—the opposite of the beautiful when it comes to filling the unfulfilled areas of life.
- They don’t believe they’ve got what someone else would want.
- They don’t look to Cosmo or glam girls for answers. They are more open, usually, to spiritual things, whether occult oriented or the One True God.
- They don’t look to the popular, they look for something to fill what they intuitively know is spiritual. Popularity has remained elusive many times, so they instinctively grab for something more permanent.
My point is this. For many, if not most, beautiful women, they have unwittingly walked into a lifestyle of vanity and shallowness that will never bring contentment or real joy. They will keep chasing it all their days. The less attractive—whether that be physical or self-perception or even both—are much less likely to get caught up in “keeping up with the [good-looking] Joneses.”
The answer for ALL women is the same: fulfillment will only ever come as a result of knowing Jesus Christ in a personal relationship. But if you look at many in the church who do we see? We see the less popular, the socially awkward, the misfits, the less-than-pretty, and yes, even some who are physically beautiful. Those who are already coming from a place of inner humility are more likely to accept Christ than those who have been spoon-fed by society that they need to use their looks to get what they can, or that, since they are beautiful, they can sift through all of the men to get the best one because the men will keep coming to them.
Is being beautiful a curse? Some women have actually told me that it is.
Is being plain or less attractive a blessing? Truthfully I’ve never heard anyone say yes, but I know many who have relationships with Jesus who came to Him more readily than those who are proud of their looks.
I’m curious about your thoughts.