“I am not worthy of love or respect.”
“I deserve to feel hated, despised, rejected, used, abused.”
“I despise myself, because I am no good. I’m not worthy or deserving of anything good.”
“I am property to be used and abused and trampled on.”
“I’m a burden to everyone and always have been. I have always been an inconvenience.”
“I am not worthy to be fought for.”
Can you imagine saying these things about yourself as a woman? Men, how about these for yourself:
“I don’t match up to the other guys.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I don’t have what it takes”
“My best days are over.”
“I had my chance in this life, but blew it. No more chances.”
“The world (or my family) would be better off without me.”
All of these statements about oneself are called agreements. What are agreements? Let’s look at the definitions.
Definition of agreement (n)
- [ ə gréemənt ]
- formal contract: a contract or arrangement, either written or verbal and sometimes enforceable by law
- situation or act of consent: the state of having come to the same opinion or having made the same decision as somebody else, or an expression of this state
- consensus of opinion: a situation in which everyone accepts the same terms or has the same opinion
As you can tell by the language in the three points, a “formal contract” (which assumes another party), an “act of consent” (which assumes another party), and consensus of opinion (which assumes another party) are contracts held in mutual understanding by at least two parties.
If the personal phrases above have ever been said by you, about yourself, you’ve made an agreement. You might think that somehow that would mean you’ve made an agreement with yourself. But think about it logically. It is quite literally impossible to agree with yourself. You already have an internalized belief or stance on something that you believe, either about yourself, someone or something else. It is what you have already concluded (or working to conclude). Making an agreement means that you have taken something that you already believe about yourself and are concurring with an outside source … or … an outside source has convinced you of something that you hadn’t previously believed and are now accepting that thing as fact.
Now comes the question: Why do you believe the things about yourself that you do? Even if you believe that aren’t agreeing with someone on the outside, you still had to have come to agree about your self-concept from somewhere, initially. So, let’s take a look at who you are, what you believe about who you are, and where that came from.
All judgments about oneself must have a standard, something with which to compare oneself to in order to determine whether the information that you are believing is true. If you have a million dollars in your bank account and you have full access to it, you cannot say that you are financially poor like the beggar on the street. Saying, “I am financially struggling” when you have no debt, and plenty of money would be preposterous. But if someone came up to you person and said, with authority, “Sir (or ma’am), I’m afraid that your bank account was robbed. Someone took all of your money. There is no way to get it back, and it wasn’t insured. You are broke,” that would be something else altogether. Immediately you might start feeling devastated. The first words to escape your mouth might be, “I’m broke.” An agreement was just made. You have accepted the information as truth. But, the fact of the matter is that the person telling you that you have no money has an agenda. He wants to steal the money that is still safely locked up in the bank. It’s a ploy by an enemy.
So, allow me to reveal a set standard for you (that has nothing to do with money). Let’s talk something more significant.
You, my friend, were not an accidental occurrence on this planet. If your birth parents did not intend for you to be born, that doesn’t mean that God didn’t. In fact, according to Scripture, you were actually thought about by God before your conception took place. God also talks about knowing you in the womb. That means that something of great significance took place at conception. The you that God wanted to exist was purposely place within the fertilized egg at the moment the sperm penetrated the cell wall. You were intentioned by God to have life at this time and place on Earth. There is absolutely no possibility of you being an accident.
What else does God have to say about your existence prior to your birth? He said you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” This is the first outside statement to which you should agree. But someone needs to tell you that first before you can agree with it. Consider that done now. You—yes, YOU—were fearfully and wonderfully made … on purpose!
This one statement should negate virtually all of those negative self-statements above. Why? Because if you are made for a purpose, and you are still alive, then you have not, yet, completely fulfilled that purpose. You still have purpose!
Now, here’s the very first purpose for which you were born: to have a relationship with the one who intentioned you. God. Once you have accepted a relationship with your Father, through Jesus Christ, you have accomplished the most crucial aspect of your purpose going forward.
The second thing that you need to know is that God says, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That’s pretty huge, in my estimation. As a human being, especially as a Christian, you have a purpose going forward.
That said, if you are hearing in your head things like, “I’m worthless.” “I have no purpose.” or “There is no point to my life.” You are getting the information from a different source. It cannot be true if God is true! Anything that contradicts what God has to say about you has to be coming from someone else pretending to be an authority in order to steal from you.
Allow me to speak about the spiritual realm, and one of the main players in it, Satan. The Bible says that his chief aim is “to kill and to steal and to destroy.” It also says of Satan, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” Another translation states it this way: “He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
Let me make this very clear. Truth does not have to exist in a statement for an agreement to be made.
You have a mortal enemy. He hates you. He loathes you. Never will there be an ounce of compassion in his mind or heart for you. He will pretend to pick you up after he has knocked you down, just so that he will have the pleasure of causing more pain when he knocks you down again. Satan is hate in its purest form.
Anytime that you have thoughts that sound like your own, that tear you to shreds, they did not come from God and … listen to me, now … they did not originate in you! They came from an outside source. A liar. And by agreeing with them, by verbalizing them or writing them, all you are doing is reinforcing those agreements. You are placing those horrible agreements into lockboxes in your soul and securing them in cement. You have got to stop! There are major spiritual, mental, emotional, and sometimes physical implications at play here.
David Felts says in his blog, “As we hear those words in our minds, if we don’t pull them down immediately and take them captive like the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, we will begin to believe those thoughts and then we run the risk of giving voice to them. And it is in giving voice to the thoughts of the enemy that we make an agreement with him and allow those thoughts to become a reality. “
Please, my friends, take time to find out who you really are. Discover who it is that God says you are. Learn about what it means to be a Christian. Get to understand why the song calls GRACE amazing. Once you discover, through the Bible, that God identifies every single born-again Christian as RIGHTEOUS, you will begin to see the value God places on you. Never, ever, doubt your worth, your significance on this planet. You are here for a reason. You are not a mistake. And as you pursue your relationship with God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and the God the Holy Spirit, you will discover not only your purpose, but fulfillment in the midst of accomplishing that purpose. It’s a great way to live.
Now, let’s make some agreements with God (out loud):
“I am not a mistake!”
“Jesus created me because He wants to have me as a forever-lifelong brother and friend.”
“I am ‘the righteousness of God in Christ.'”
“‘There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!'”
“God has a plan for me. A good one!”
“God counts me worthy of His time and attention and love and acceptance and forgiveness.”
Good. Now these are just a start. Remember, your old agreements that don’t agree with what God has to say about you, have been reinforced for a long time, both by the Enemy and by you. It’s going to take a little while to chip those horrible lies out of the concrete. But, the good thing is, that the more you speak life to yourself, the less strong the concrete becomes. Create a habit over the next 21 days to deliberately and with focus and effort start speaking sentences—words—of life over yourself, cutting away the negative ones. When you hear words to the contrary, use some Spiritual Warfare to push the Enemy—harassing spirits—back and away from you. You can do it, because you’ve got the authority of Christ to back you up.
If you are not familiar with the blog posts that I’ve written in the past, the links below may be of some help in figuring out what the whole Spiritual Warfare thing is about. I also write novels, one of them now published, that are not just entertaining, they teach Spiritual Warfare. Learn your enemy’s tactics. Learn how to fight. Get good at shutting down the lies of your enemy—of God’s enemy—and you just might find yourself living a life beyond what you thought possible!